Valentino Donna, a hint of elegance, fragility, irreverence, and candour. Sensuous and independent she is capable of sudden passion and unexpected shyness.

I had a stable job, still lived with my mother so was paying no rent and was surrounded by family and good friends. I left that behind for a less than minimum wage job, a rent that was half my salary, and no comfort of the familiar. Why?

When by design you are inherently creative but feel no spark of inspiration; When you are by nature a dreamer but instead feel only sleep deprived; When you've always sided with optimism but feel like you're running thin on hope....leaving becomes a fairly easy decision to make.

There were many moments of doubt and questioning of my sanity especially considering that my destination was a whole new world, with a completely different culture and not to mention a language I had little or NO experience with (& still don't). But, I was ready for something different.

In true Tanaka fashion I made a very clumsy entrance (read: falling down the escalator- luggage & all- and bruising my knee) into Paris on September 28th. I foolishly told my handler I could "figure out" the train system and even though it was a terrible struggle I eventually did with some help. I had taken a 4 hour coach from Kingston to Montego Bay the previous day, then a 10 hour flight to Brussels, a 2 hour train to Paris Nord and finally a 1 hour train from the city centre to a small town called Mennecy. I remember during the final train ride how exhausted I was and how I held back tears thinking about the mess I made of myself in the train station trying to navigate my way in broken French and wondering if I made the right decision to come. I genuinely thought, "this might be a sign of how your entire time here will be" but then I decided to shake the feeling and just thanked God I made it so far in one piece.

That was one of my most difficult days in France. Of course, -6 FROID days, many sleepless nights due to high anxieties, running low on funds, winter blues and the struggle of being very green to the French language have also proved trying but faith kept me going. That and...... Paris *heart eyes*.

In spite of my turbulent start, I was VERY fortunate to have been hosted by the nicest and most hospitable family. I know without doubt that had it not been for Robert and Nadia (designated French Mom & Dad), I would probably have had an entirely different story to tell about France. I am truly grateful I was bless with them (and also their adorable and brilliant boys Lilio and Noam) as they helped a lot with getting settled in France, finding my own place etc etc.

For work, I was assisting english teachers. The students for the most part were great and I can honestly say I have become genuine friends with a few. I wished my French was better so I could have connected with others who weren't so strong in English and this remains something I'm very sad about..

I didn't practice my French enough during my stay and do feel a bit awful about it because in truth there were many missed opportunities. I don't have an excuse and won't make one up as to why my French never improved. I was interested to learn but there were many days I had no drive. French is a difficult language to learn and I (naively) I hoped diffusion would be on my side but sadly, it wasn't (surprise surprise). I remember attempting to study via videos on my laptop and being woken up by drool (eww) LOL. I watched the news with my housemates, stuck post-its around the house and attempted to watch movies but I wasn't connecting with the language. It is an intimidating language, for me at least, and unfortunately I didn't put enough effort into conquering my fears. I often times feel like a hypocrite too, teaching students a new language and encouraging them not to give up when I had done just that.

Unfortunately, I also got very comfortable because in my favourite place, P A R I S, most people spoke (some) English. There is something about this place that really only "magic" could suffice as a reasonable description. This is not to say it hasn't flaws, in fact, I like to tell people that the balance of over-price everything, pissed-stenched streets and metro stations, dog crap everywhere, astounding amounts of homelessness and shady characters waiting for an opportune moment to rip you off are like constant reality checks. Still, what a world to experience. Actually, its a universe on its own hosting many different worlds. I love that every time I would portal into one of these worlds I have vastly different experiences, many beautiful, some strange, others marvelling but always charming. I got lost in many museums, took long walks in galleries and parks when the weather permitted, passed some unforgettable happy hours with new friends from all corners of the earth and discovered genuine happiness in very unlikely ways/ places/ faces.