We often hear talks about "fraudy" feelings. The ones you get when you decide to do something but in the doing your inner Negative Nancy starts to trigger the "I'm not qualified enough" or the "I'm not good enough" thoughts. At some point, we've all been there. And it sucks! But, there is an even more unpleasant fraudulent feeling that I want to address today, the ones that surface in the absence of the doing.

A few weeks ago during a conversation with my coach, Judz,  I stated that "I'm a blogger but I don't blog." Instantly, I realize how ridiculous this sounded. Is a person a driver without actually getting behind the wheel or a football player same, without actually hitting the field? Now, I know you might be thinking, "but you do have a blog." Here's the thing, at the very least our actions need to qualify our ownership of a craft, meaning if we make claim to carpentry then we need to frequently be shaping, building or whatever carpenters do with wood. And so based on my inconsistency and haphazard posting, I didn't feel as though I had earned enough stripes to claim blogging. Hence, the feelings of being a fraud.

Now, growing up I changed my dream career a few times; from ballerina or dancing back up for Chris Brown to becoming an entertainment lawyer to being a fashion marketer/merchandiser and then there is today's ambition of becoming a writer and travel blogger. What I'm trying to say is, I've never actually committed to anything before so I've never had to hold myself accountable to do anything at all. In spite of this, there was always strong desire or longing that I believe Phil Knight, founder of Nike, in his memoir Shoe Dog explained perfectly when he said:

"I had an aching sense that our time is short, shorter than we ever know, short as a morning run and I wanted mine to be meaningful. And purposeful. And creative. And important. Above all ...different. I wanted to leave a mark on the world. I wanted to win. No, that's not right. I simply didn't want to lose."

It might have taken me some time to realise but I now know for sure that writing is the medium through which I was ordained to leave a mark on this world. The dissonance, however, comes from Knight's other very famous words, "JUST DO IT."

Writing and by extension, blogging can be challenging at times. I love words but they don't always come easily and since everything I share represents me the likelihood of publishing something half-assed or not as close to my idea of perfect, simply won't happen. CUE THE OVERTHINKING. And then there is the fuss for imagery. Photoshoots when you suffer from acne and chronic awkwardness is usually a recipe for anxieties. Also, not always having a photographer at hand and asking your well-meaning but aesthetically challenged friends to use your iPhone to snap a few shots can be exhausting after the 100th try. The point is, there are some days I am completely discouraged and in Jamaican creole: Me cyaw bodda! (I can't be bothered).

Still, I can't shake this blogger bug. I remember listening to Gary Vaynerchuk rant about committing to the process and not the end game. He explained that no matter what we decide to do in life we must identify the pains that are associated with that decision as opposed to the gains. It is the pains that we are willing to live with that will determine what we reap. What I understood from this was that the things that made me uncomfortable/ annoyed/ demoralized about blogging were the very things that would give me the life I crave. Essentially, I have two choices: either do the thing or don't, i.e either commit to the pain of the process or the pain of future regret.
If you've ever read Paulo Coelho's Alchemist, it means becoming the baker or Santiago. Like Santiago, we can listen to our calling and pursue our dream unwaveringly. This might mean trekking the path less travelled and opening our world to vulnerability. But, we'll get to discover our strengths, develop new skills, build our resilience, experience a little magic, live our truth and later gain the treasures (and happiness) that life had been leading us towards.

Alternatively, we can stay exactly where we are now, in our comfort zone, dream but do nothing about it while playing it safe and committing to ease. How about taking no risks and absolutely ignore divinity because the unknown is scary and you need security, right? WRONG. As Coelho's anecdote of the baker exacts: the cookie cutter life is the most unfulfilled, even for a baker. (Please read this book! It's short, easy to read and filled with life lessons.)

With that said, I wrote this so you can know, I'm here to obey my calling aka commit to the process of being a writer and you're more than welcome to tag along on this journey. Also, I know there are a lot of people out there just like me, maybe even you,  making excuses about why they aren't doing their thing. Beg you, claim that craft. You're doing yourself and the world a great disservice by hiding your talents. As Luvvie Ajayi said in her TED talk about a completely unrelated topic:

"Comfort is overrated. Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo. So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."

• Don’t sweat the small stuff: Plan trivial things such as your meals and outfits a week in advance to save time. This practice cuts your daily prep time in half.
• Review the day: At the end of the day, do an overview what you’ve done and capture the tasks you haven't accomplished in a list for the following day. Do the small things to prepare for the next day to make thing smoother.
• Time block for high priority tasks. It’s easy to get the simple tasks out of the way but those elephant sized tasks need some finessing so make a date with them.

• Focus on yourself. Every time you sit thinking about what someone else is doing, you rob yourself of valuable time to create something uniquely spectacular.
• Self-assessment is pivotal. Make time for introspection to check in with yourself. 
• Be viscously consistent. Persistence and tenacity are important. Even if you go off course, do not be deterred; get back at it!
• Look at what “smart” people do. Get advice, engage them or read about their stories and apply what you can to your own life.
• Resilience is a super power so keep going no matter what happens. Nothing comes to clarity through a lack of action. Our best teacher is experience whether good or bad.
• Dedicate at least 15 – 30 minutes on a skill or piece of work every day that can get you closer to your ultimate dream. Weave your goal into your habits. (Practice makes perfect) 

• Learn to say No. In fact, no is a complete sentence: You do not need to explain yourself. If it doesn’t serve you or feel in line with your values, respectfully decline.
• Take long walks or time block alone time (about an hour) that can be used for deep thinking especially for those things you’re experiencing blocks with.

• Always add value to every encounter: Never approach an interview or meeting with a new person as just a job opportunity but rather bring something valuable to the interaction by sharing stories or findings that lead to possible solutions for their industry or a company issue. It will keep you top of mind. 
• Follow up! This could mean a simple thank you or sharing an interesting article or video about a particular topic from your conversation that will bring things full circle. Being thoughtful costs nothing and will only make your connections more meaningful. 

Tulum is a dream. The kind you never want to wake up from. If I had to describe it in a simple sentence, I would say, it’s a bohemian wanderland. I was struck by the way this little coastal town could, so effortlessly, be host of such grand dichotomies. Like, it’s marriage of modern and rustic that allows you to be surrounded by nature but luxuriously housed in new age type architecture with engineering that rivals any thing you’ve seen in the first world. Or even the fact that it can balance it’s quintessential relaxed vibe while being so high spirited. But most importantly, I was captivayed by its ability to make a foreigner, like me, feel so much at home in a place that was alien in many respects.

In case you need me to spell it out for you: I am deeply infatuated.

Two years ago my cousin got engaged. Not long after came the "Save The Date" with just the news I needed to hear: It would be a destination wedding, all white, beachfront on the pristine sands of Playa del Carmen, Mexico! Cue incessant outfit planning, ridiculous amounts of IG inspo bookmarks and constant reminders to everyone with ears, "Oh, I'm going to Mexico." I daydreamed for weeks about eating tacos while wearing a sombrero, throwing back tequila shots, shaking my culo to Duro by Daddy Yankee while wearing a striped poncho and juggling margaritas in both hands, that and all the other cliche shit one imagines would happen in Meh-he-co. I know this isn't exactly a fair portrayal of what life in Mexico actually looks like, but its a reality I wasn't opposed to.

Finally, I got a real taste of Mexico last week. I spent 5 days roaming the country's Caribbean coastline of Riviera Maya where I lodged between Playa del Carmen, Tulum and Cancun.  Although the trip wasn't exactly as I had fantasized (refer to above depiction), I can say for sure that Mexico was absolutely lovely.  I fell especially in love with Tulum and I will definitely find my way back, sooner than later. Beyond the great tequila, bottomless margaritas and unlimited tacos, here are a few things everyone travelling to Mexico should know:

1.  It's hot as hell. Now, for context, I grew up and still live in Jamaica so I am pretty seasoned when it comes to tropical climates. But this Mexican heat is NEXT LEVEL. Sunscreen and water by the gallon are not optional- issa MUST. My makeup pretty much melted when I attempted to make my way along 5th Avenue in Playa Del Carmen. We ended up seeking refuge in a few stores solely for the A/C and after stopping for water and then ice cream just a few meters away we decided to head back to our Airbnb until later in the afternoon because unlike the little steam engine, we simply COULD NOT anymore. Our AirBnb host told us that the May heat was a joke in comparison to August. So, let it be known if you see me in Mexico during that month, I'm having some sort of existential crisis and I'm actually crying out for help. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. It's sweltering heat.

Life is beautiful but the one thing we've had drilled into our heads about beauty is the subjective nature of it, i.e., "Beauty is in the eyes of its beholder." Personally, what I get from this is, there is beauty in every single thing, in some way or the other, but only some people will be able to appreciate certain things. Regardless, quality is not indicative of perspective but rather is a simple show of preferences.

For instance, have you ever been to a museum and seen a work of art and thought: Wow, this is trash! Why is this here? What does this even mean? I just don't get it! Well, me too.  Several times. Yet, regardless of my own outlook on it, there it is, proudly on display for the world to see. In fact, it's hung in the most sacred place for this line of work, in a museum, where only the best of the best are housed, so priceless and coveted it cannot be owned by anyone else, simply admired (or scrutinized).

This piece of art is much like each of our lives. We are all artists.  What we make of our lives is our masterpiece and the museum is a symbol of our success, our legacy, our beautiful life.

No matter what we do, we will always have admirers or naysayers, but their opinions will neither add nor detract from the value of what we create.

Just like the painting in the museum,  the manifestation of our inner thoughts needs only to be meaningful to us, the creator. Whether or not people "get it" should never stop you from creating it. To a random onlooker it might seem absurd, just random strokes that wildly cover a canvas but for you, the artist, it is your story. It all started as a blank canvas but you had a vision of what it could be and you worked tirelessly, creatively, faithfully and passionately at it until it became your version of beautiful. And that's it. That is all it needs to be, YOUR VISION.

No matter what we want to become we must first hire vision. As a visionary, you're curating your life.  You set the standards for the quality of life you want to live. It means you're pulling yourself into the future and taking control of your life at that moment. By dreaming up what that looks like, you will in effect, create the condition to live your truth, your beautiful life.

That's why we've been told time and time again to:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Our greatest work is inside of our heads waiting for us to put the right energy behind it. Our beautiful life is a thought, an idea, a vision waiting to be had. Doris E Thorn wrote in her book, Casting Light on the Mystery of God in You, that, "We have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Every thought we think- good or bad,  positive or negative- go into our subconscious, where it creates a condition. That condition reflects our thoughts - good or bad- and in turn creates a similar condition in our bodies, soul and our environment. We are constantly creating by our thinking. In fact, we are co-creators with God, and we have been so all of our lives."

That's exactly what the character Cobb played by Leonardo Dicaprio in the movie Inception means when he said that "An idea is like a virus. Resilient. Highly contagious. And even the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you."

So what are you creating? How do you want the world to hear about you or rather how will the world experience your legacy? What seeds are you planting in your head?

Whatever it is, know that you are entitled to your version of a beautiful life. You were born with the right to create freely, passionately and authentically in a way that conveys your truth as you see fit to share. You are in control. You are the master of your vision. As you create your only responsibility is to your self. Define what makes a life worth living for yourselves, in a way that feeds your souls and happiness.

Dream wildly without limitations and as soon as those dreams feel even remotely accessible start conjuring new ideas and building on your vision. Worry not about the how or the means that will take you there. Believe it is possible and you're already on your way. For reassurance sake, the famous and very brilliant Brazillian writer Paulo Coelho so graciously asserted that "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.' Would Uncle Paulo ever lie to you?

Life is beautiful. Believe It. Claim It. Now It's YOURS.